Morning Weight: 98lb
10:05am
I sit at the computer staring at the screen. But my mind wanders again to last night's dream.
I barely slept, it was too warm and I was terrified of rolling over and ruining my tattoo, but in the little I did sleep, I dreamt/daydreamed.
Finally, I snap out of my daze and continue with my media essay. It took me almost an hour to do the first sentence, but now the words just flow through my arm into my fingers, and my fingertips dance across the keys on the keyboard.
I'm trying so hard to ignore my body. I understand it needs to heal, but it looks so disgusting. Mother isn't working again today, and I had to have breakfast again. I've given up the ABC, as the past 10 days of it have all failed, and I've been unable to count my calories properly. For this reason, I will stop trying to do the ABC, and instead I will do it again properly next year. Until the 4th November, however, I intend to fast as long as possible, to get rid of the disgusting grotesque bulge that is my abdomen. My tattoo looks perfect, but its canvas is hideous and unworthy of displaying such art.
I need to make my body perfect, but I can't do that right now. I can't do that when I'm home all day with my mother.
However, she's working tomorrow, and I'll go out tomorrow evening, and I'm working Thursday-Saturday evenings, then it's just Sunday and I'm sure I can find an excuse to stay out.
I intend to fast for at least 5 days. If I start at midnight tonight, and include next Monday, it'll be a 6-day fast. I wanted to do 8 days, but I ate yesterday, as I felt that providing nutrients to help my tattoo heal perfectly was more important.
Either way, I intend to fast as much of the remaining 6 days before the 4th as possible.
Then I start the Sweet Tiny Body diet on the 4th, and I'm really looking forward to that! It's essentially fasting and fruit, and nothing else. None of the days go above 135kcal, and I'm sure to lose at least 10lb!
Can't wait!
Oh but that dream... I wish it could be real.
10:05am
I sit at the computer staring at the screen. But my mind wanders again to last night's dream.
I barely slept, it was too warm and I was terrified of rolling over and ruining my tattoo, but in the little I did sleep, I dreamt/daydreamed.
Finally, I snap out of my daze and continue with my media essay. It took me almost an hour to do the first sentence, but now the words just flow through my arm into my fingers, and my fingertips dance across the keys on the keyboard.
I'm trying so hard to ignore my body. I understand it needs to heal, but it looks so disgusting. Mother isn't working again today, and I had to have breakfast again. I've given up the ABC, as the past 10 days of it have all failed, and I've been unable to count my calories properly. For this reason, I will stop trying to do the ABC, and instead I will do it again properly next year. Until the 4th November, however, I intend to fast as long as possible, to get rid of the disgusting grotesque bulge that is my abdomen. My tattoo looks perfect, but its canvas is hideous and unworthy of displaying such art.
I need to make my body perfect, but I can't do that right now. I can't do that when I'm home all day with my mother.
However, she's working tomorrow, and I'll go out tomorrow evening, and I'm working Thursday-Saturday evenings, then it's just Sunday and I'm sure I can find an excuse to stay out.
I intend to fast for at least 5 days. If I start at midnight tonight, and include next Monday, it'll be a 6-day fast. I wanted to do 8 days, but I ate yesterday, as I felt that providing nutrients to help my tattoo heal perfectly was more important.
Either way, I intend to fast as much of the remaining 6 days before the 4th as possible.
Then I start the Sweet Tiny Body diet on the 4th, and I'm really looking forward to that! It's essentially fasting and fruit, and nothing else. None of the days go above 135kcal, and I'm sure to lose at least 10lb!
Can't wait!
Oh but that dream... I wish it could be real.
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