10:17am
It is true what they say; if you are going to have an eating disorder you should say goodbye to all friends you currently have.
Nonetheless, I feel incredibly "Badass" in a 'nerd' way at this moment.
I was just required to complete my 2 hour Design & Technology Mock Exam, and within half an hour had instead written a 2-page essay on how the exam system is faulted.
I am sick of being judged on something which does not prove my skills.
In other news, still fasting. I'm going to the gym today after school, as well as on Saturday and, if I can, Sunday too, as my gym membership is being suspended after this. I went to the gym on Tuesday, after having been sick (It was not a lie, I simply didn't mention it was self-induced), and managed to burn a new record of 613kcal on the cross trainer machine. I am determined for that to change to 800 or hopefully even 1,000kcal.
Therefore, I will go as long as I can tonight, to try and reach the 800kcal mark, and then Saturday I will stay there for almost the entire day, in order to reach the 1,000kcal mark, and even stretch to 1,500kcal.
Even if mum finds out, I have had enough. I am 18 years old and my life is my choice. If my mother kicks me out purely due to the fact she cannot accept this, or says I am still under her control whilst under her roof, then so be it.
I will hate not being able to go to the gym, I have no other appropriate way of measuring calories burned.
Hopefully I will find a source of income and be able to reinstate my membership shortly.
It is true what they say; if you are going to have an eating disorder you should say goodbye to all friends you currently have.
Nonetheless, I feel incredibly "Badass" in a 'nerd' way at this moment.
I was just required to complete my 2 hour Design & Technology Mock Exam, and within half an hour had instead written a 2-page essay on how the exam system is faulted.
I am sick of being judged on something which does not prove my skills.
In other news, still fasting. I'm going to the gym today after school, as well as on Saturday and, if I can, Sunday too, as my gym membership is being suspended after this. I went to the gym on Tuesday, after having been sick (It was not a lie, I simply didn't mention it was self-induced), and managed to burn a new record of 613kcal on the cross trainer machine. I am determined for that to change to 800 or hopefully even 1,000kcal.
Therefore, I will go as long as I can tonight, to try and reach the 800kcal mark, and then Saturday I will stay there for almost the entire day, in order to reach the 1,000kcal mark, and even stretch to 1,500kcal.
Even if mum finds out, I have had enough. I am 18 years old and my life is my choice. If my mother kicks me out purely due to the fact she cannot accept this, or says I am still under her control whilst under her roof, then so be it.
I will hate not being able to go to the gym, I have no other appropriate way of measuring calories burned.
Hopefully I will find a source of income and be able to reinstate my membership shortly.
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