9:14am
So I thought this was going to be difficult, but after accepting that I'll have to do something I wanted to avoid, this will be easy after all.
I'm going to fast all day every day, and if I have to eat dinner with my parents, I'll purge it afterwards. I did that last night and I actually did it as soon as the meal had finished - I think I got pretty much all of it out! I've never been able to do that before, but I just kept trying until I tasted acid... That means it's all gone.
My singing will suffer though, which is a shame because I recently got more into that, but I have to do this, or I'll never get back to how I was before.
I used to have the most beautiful thigh gap. I've made it my phone background to remind me what I'm striving for, and it's working. Using myself as thinspo is much more effective because I know I can achieve that picture again - I've already done it once after all.
Last night, I finished dinner, got rid of it, then did my new daily workout. I'll start by doing it once a day, then I want to try and get into the routine of doing it every morning and evening. It's difficult, as I can't do the jumping jacks properly, but there's a way to do quiet jumping jacks which actually burn more calories.
I will be pretty again. And I've decided that anything I eat, I must purge from now on.
Besides, if this kills me, if I die from a heart failure, or collapse or whatever, at least it'll be the end at last. I make all these goals and dreams and promises but I don't believe I'll ever make it to them.
I expect to die every year, and I really don't care anymore, because I was born to be alone anyway.
Meh.
So I thought this was going to be difficult, but after accepting that I'll have to do something I wanted to avoid, this will be easy after all.
I'm going to fast all day every day, and if I have to eat dinner with my parents, I'll purge it afterwards. I did that last night and I actually did it as soon as the meal had finished - I think I got pretty much all of it out! I've never been able to do that before, but I just kept trying until I tasted acid... That means it's all gone.
My singing will suffer though, which is a shame because I recently got more into that, but I have to do this, or I'll never get back to how I was before.
I used to have the most beautiful thigh gap. I've made it my phone background to remind me what I'm striving for, and it's working. Using myself as thinspo is much more effective because I know I can achieve that picture again - I've already done it once after all.
Last night, I finished dinner, got rid of it, then did my new daily workout. I'll start by doing it once a day, then I want to try and get into the routine of doing it every morning and evening. It's difficult, as I can't do the jumping jacks properly, but there's a way to do quiet jumping jacks which actually burn more calories.
I will be pretty again. And I've decided that anything I eat, I must purge from now on.
Besides, if this kills me, if I die from a heart failure, or collapse or whatever, at least it'll be the end at last. I make all these goals and dreams and promises but I don't believe I'll ever make it to them.
I expect to die every year, and I really don't care anymore, because I was born to be alone anyway.
Meh.
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