Monday, 5th January, 2015

So I know it's been a while, but I think I managed to recover!

 

Only problem is, now I have to go back to school and school is the biggest trigger for my problems. So hurrah all my hard work is going down the drain.

 

As to how I "recovered", I spent the entire month of December eating what I wanted when I wanted it. Yes, at first I binged a lot, and yes I was tempted to relapse because the weight gain scared me, but I stuck at it, and eventually my body satisfied itself and I began to eat more "normally."

 

I believe what's happened is this:

 

1. When you fast/restrict, you teach your body to forget how it feels to be full.
2. Then, when you try to eat something again, you binge because your body no longer understands when it is full, and no longer understands how much is "too much" in normal terms.
3. However, if you let your body keep doing that, given a few weeks your body re-learns how it feels to be full, and how to eat in moderate amounts.

Something I found is I felt a bit sick for a week, probably because I was eating too much, but now I don't. I can pick up a pack of biscuits and eat just one. I don't sneak downstairs and raid the kitchen in a blind trance of embarrassment. I don't buy shitloads of food to eat in one go, instead just buy a snack here and there when I'm peckish.


It works. It actually works guys.


And I've changed the plan. I'll probably just restrict at points through this year, but I'm going to do TYOB next year, in 2016, as far too much is happening this year, and I'm currently sorting out my mental issues such as Hoarding, Anxiety, Paranoia, OCD etc etc.


MY NEW PLAN

1. Sort out problems this year
2. Finish/drop out of school
3. Get a permanent job
4. Have fun in America in September
5. Focus on mind and career for 2015
6. Move onto focusing on body and weight in 2016